not to cave [closed]

The smile at his lips waned slightly, the corners of his lips clinging weakly to their place. The hunch of Jirokichi's shoulders and tensing of his muscles gave him away long before his tone did.

"No."

Arata's smile vanished, replaced instead with a mild, somber frown as his brows lowered solemnly over his gaze. His shoulders sank slightly as he stepped forward to lessen the distance between them, his focus lifting to center on the bookcase his partner was facing. He recognized the culprit almost immediately, gaze locking onto the offending tilted book in an instant. The edges of his lips tilted only further downward. The way his stomach flipped over inside him made his mouth water. He felt sick.

" Jirokichi. " His voice softened further, ringing with a familiar understanding. Already his red eyes had found their way back to his partner. The realization that he was now within arms' reach made his heart flicker in his chest, and for a brief moment he had to draw his eyes away to maintain his collected form. His eyelids fell to rest halfway over his gaze. He was at a loss.

Arata's eyes flicked back toward Jirokichi with a subdued sense of hope, the edges of his lips still turned faintly downward. Carefully reaching a hand to wrap around that of his partner's, he hoped to pull at least a little bit of his attention away from the bookcase.

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The sharp exhale didn't escape his notice. He could feel the tightening of his lover's hand in his own, eyes taking note of the tensing along his neck indicating a clenched jaw. He could feel how much the other man was restraining himself, and it only made his frown pull further downward.

The relief was light as his partner turned around to face him, but it was there. His shoulders loosened, and the breath stuck fast in his chest eased its way from his lungs in a silent sigh. His own hand rose to cradle the other's skull, gently guiding his face to rest against the bare skin of his shoulder. The arm winding its way about his waist was welcomed there, and Arata edged forward to close any distance between them.

Tilting his chin downward, his gaze searched his partner's scalp, well aware it wouldn't give him any insight as to the other's thoughts. With his free hand sifting its fingers through the other's hair, his arm came to rest comfortably against his back. The exhale against his chest caught his attention, and the call of his name made him shiver against his will.

" I'm- glad you're here with me. " His voice was small, his tone edging on apology as his brows came to knit worriedly over his eyes. Despite the growing apprehension in his stomach he leaned to press a kiss to the top of the Jirokichi's head.

" I don't think I'd make it, otherwise. " Arata's fingers moved subtly to rub comfortingly at his partner's hand as he turned his head, resting his cheek there against the other man's skull.

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Suddenly, his partner's warmth had vanished. Jirokichi had drawn away, slipping through his fingers and retracting the arm from his waist to reestablish the distance between them. Though his throat tightened, and his lips begged to pull downward, he maintained the still slight frown at his lips, brows softly drawn together as he examined his partner for some clue as to what to say. Clearly, his previous words hadn't had the desired affect. Though the others eyes had settled on his own, he could pull nothing from them to help him. Only sadness and affection, and it made his heart sink to the pit of his stomach.

He could hear the tension in the other's voice even as he assured him, and the breath to follow only made his stomach tighten further. Arata swallowed, only wishing he could turn his eyes elsewhere until he could figure some way to alleviate the other man's pain. His lips quivered at the continued assurance, and his carefully maintained expression began to falter. As his partner's eyes fell shut he took the moment to screw his own closed as well, his brows knotting tight over his eyes as he took the brief instant to try and beat his thoughts back to a more positive track. Of course, they never made it there.

Even as he opened his eyes his brows still pinched a bit tighter over them, the downturn of his lips was more obvious, and his mouth fell into a harsher line edging more on anger than sadness. The crooked smirk of the other was overshadowed by the concerned pull of his brows. It was instead the hand at his chest that threatened to tear his thoughts away from any rage in regard to their situation. Faced with the choice between simmering anger and the possibility of always welcomed intimacy, his mind was turning quickly to figure which train of thought to foster. It seemed to be his partner's words that helped him decide.

The change was nearly immediate, lids slipping to rest partway over the red eyes now fixed on his partner with a renewed intensity as a hand moved smoothly to place itself atop his partner's, holding it in its place against his chest.

" I thought you might, " he murmured darkly, the words rolling smoothly from his tongue. His fingers curled inward to tighten their grip on his hand possessively as his eyes darted about those of his partner's, analyzing them. Whatever troubles had been swirling in his mind just a moment ago had been forgotten completely.

His chest swelled as he inhaled slowly through his nose, barely managing to keep his mind from clouding over. His eyes were still alert, though it was difficult to say how long he'd manage to keep that up. His gaze shifted quickly to take in the other's appearance, just barely managing to take note of the old clothe set of armor he was still wearing.

" We have a bit of money now, don't we? " he offered with a purr, tone quirking up in question as he canted his head and lifted his chin in a fully expectant manner. His hand reached out toward Jirokichi's hip, ready to weave its way around and hold him close again. Problem solving was proving itself difficult with the heat rising behind his eyes. " As well as naked suits the both of us, perhaps we should see about investing in some half decent clothes. "

The smile that eased across his lips cinched the corners of his eyes as he regarded his partner. " Start with something we can fix. "

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